An Envious Sister - My Recent Run-In with the Evil Eye

I decided to post this after a series of sad events and good Deen building experiences recently happened. My purpose in writing this is to educate myself and friends about the dangers of the Evil Eye (Ain Al Hasad) and how we can protect ourselves from being afflicted by it.

My Story: I recently went thru a miscarriage. It was devastating for me and my family. I was close to the end of the first trimester, about to relax into the rest of the pregnancy, when I started to have pain and miscarry. When I got home from the hospital we buried the remnants of that little soul that had barely had a glimpse at life. My mother in law over the phone kindly reminded me that I “have a little green bird waiting for me in Jennah, insha Allah, and that could have more children.” Everyone was gentle and kind, and slowly I began to heal and move on.

A few weeks later after confiding in a friend that I was still very sad, she very delicatly mentioned that she thought I might have been afflicted by Ain Al-Hassad.

“What? No way, are you serious?” I asked in dismay not wanting to take her seriously.

“Yes, its quite possible” she said “ Lots of people knew that you were pregnant. And it was your third child. It makes sense that some people would have been jealous.”

It was then that I began to sit down and really read about envy, and the evil eye in Islam. I knew the basics, but I admit that I never thought it could happen to me. I guess I was oblivious, and wrote it off as a super natural thing that only happens in the Middle East, Astaghfir Allah.

So after reading the book Jinn and Human Sickness by Dr, Abu'l-Mundhir Khaleel ibn Ibraheen Ameen and listening to lectures about Hassad, envy and jealously online, I decided to take stock of my life paying special attention to my frenships and aquaintances. I began evaluating each relationship, trying to see if i had missed anything or wasnt seeing the whole picture. As it turned out, i had some really rose colored glasses on in several of my relatively close relationships. When i stood back and evaluated situations and conversations, keeping in mind what i had learned, i began to see that some Sisters that i believed were friends, may have been foes all along. Again my being oblivious, or inability to read them well, or refusal to aknowledge negative treatment, may have been my downfall. On top of all of that i felt the need to share my joy over the pregnancy with just about everyone, which Im now sure was a major mistake.


What can invite Hassad and the Evil Eye?

Marriage (especially happiness in marriage), children, friends, a new job, beauty, house/material possessions, intelligence, abilities, attributes, education, - just about anything that you can think of can be envied and make people jealous.

“Everything that has a Na'mah in it, is envied by the people.” Prophet Mohammad (sws)

The first sin that was created was Hassad. I didn't know that. Basically, a person sees something that another has been blessed with. They begin to envy them and grow jealous. They then wish that the other doesn't have it, or worse that the person will lose it and it will come to them instead.

How can I protect myself from the Evil Eye?

“Seek the success of all of your needs by being quiet” Prophet Muhammad (sws)

This much I have learned. Hassad is real! Don't be silly like me. In your happiness over whatever Allah(swt) has blessed you with, don't go around telling people. Keep it to yourself and thank Him for His Generosity and Mercy and seek refuge in Him from the envy and jealousy of others.

The Messenger of Allah(sws) commanded us to pray for blessing for everything that we like. That includes things that other people have that we desire – in fact, it is VERY important to pray for blessings for our Sisters, because we naturally often pray for blessing for ourselves.

“If one of you sees something that his brother has, let him pray for blessing for him.” - Prophet Muhammad (sws)

This is why you often hear Muslims saying things like: “She had a baby, Masha Allah.” or “She is beautiful, Masha Allah.” or “She graduated from college, Masha Allah.” or “They just bought a house, Masha Allah.” or “She is getting married, Masha Allah.” etc etc etc...you get the idea.

Sahl ibn Haneef (ra) said: the Messenger of Allah (sws) said:
“If one of you sees something that he likes in himself or his wealth, let him pray for blessing for it, for the evil eye is real.” Narrated by Ibn Al-Sunni , and by Imam Ahmad and Al- Haakim

Could your Sister be envying you?





Listed below are the characteristsics of one who envies. Take a look at your relationships and compare them with this list. Do these characteristics remind you of anyone you are close to?

1. The envier is always angry at the decrees of Allah(swt)

2. The envier always complains and raraley thanks Allah(swt) even if he owns the whole world.

3. He/She follows up the mistakes of the one whom he/she envies, and tries to seek out his faults, and exposes them and exaggerates about them before others.

4. He/She conceals or ignores or belittles the good qualities and distinguishing characteristics of the person whom he/she envies.

5. You will notice that the envier cannot speak I front of the one who he/she envies without addressing him/her in a laughing, jocular manner, but deep down he/she is filled with hatred and resentment that is clear from the way in which he/she looks at him/her.

6. He/She clearly criticizes the one whom he/she envies, with or without evidence.

7. He/She looks for opportunities and makes the most of any chance to harm the one whom he/she envies in him/herself or their wealth.

8. Finally, the envier is a troubled person, due to the resentment that is always festering in their heart, depression and dullness show on their face.
*pages 263-264 of Jinn and Human Sickness

Conclusion: It is natural to see something good that your friend has and want it for yourself. The danger lies in develping jealousy and hatred for your Sister because of Allah's(swt) blessings upon her.

The Messenger of Allah (sws) said: "The evil eye is real and can bring down a person from a high mountain."

Seek refuge in Allah(swt) from the Evil Eye. Take caution in the way you look at your Sister and her blessings. Thank Allah(swt) for everything He(swt) has bestowed upon you, and ask Him to bless you and purify your heart of Hassad.

Finally, if you believe that you may have afflicted someone with the Evil Eye, intentionally or unintentionally: Pray for forgiveness and their well being. You may be asked to wash with water, making Wudu or Ghusl. Then that water is poured over the person that was affected so that the water may cancel out the effect of the evil eye and heal them. If you are asked to wash for someone, it is obligatory. Don't be embarassed to do it, or to ask someone to as well.

Another treatment for those afflicted by the evil eye is Ruqyah and Dhikr. If you are interested in learning more about how this is done, washing, or just for more info on envy, hassad and jealousy follow this link: Jinn and Human Sickness

Taken with permission from The Musing Muslima Blog :)

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Learning to Let Go - Forgiveness and Moving On

Letting go of the past or a bad experience can seem like one of the hardest most insurmountable things.. Whether you were at fault or not, that broken record of the event(s) keeps going around and around over the scenario in your head. How could i have handled that differently? Why was she so mean? Why are they spreading Ghriba or Botan about me? Did they think i was gossiping about her?....and on and on it goes. That never ending cycle of thought that disrupts your life day after day.

Not only is it mentally exhausting but this state of near obsession can be psychologically debilitating as well. Unfortunately with this often comes anger, frustration and anxiety not far behind. All of these negative feelings serve to do one thing: Disrupt your ability to worship Allah(swt) and devote your life to attaining His Good Pleasure.

"Anger spoils Faith, just as vinager spoils honey." -Prophet Mohammad (sws) Indeed, i think its safe to say the same about frustration, obsession and anxiety. Letting go, especially when you were injured or hurt by someone else may not come easily and the grudge that you carry against the other party will grow and fester. At first, you may be able to control your tongue around others, but then as the anger eats away at you, after a while "innocently confiding" in a close friend seems completely acceptable and a great way to get all that frustration and irritation off your chest. The problem is, that the moment you utter a word about the other person that they wouldn't like said about them, you've made Ghriba, or worse Botan. On top of that, complaining about them and your situation becomes addictive, and the weight that you thought you were throwing off, actually becomes heavier. I'm referring to the spiritual weight of the sin of backbiting your Sister.

This short video showing what really happens metaphorically when we backbite illustrates my point:

Truly, backbiting, even out of frustration or anger will only hurt you, and will not help alleviate your stress. Even something as simple as saying: “Oh Maskeena!” - (meaning pathetic or pitiful ) about your Sister could be backbiting! So what can you do to help yourself let go and not incur more sin in the process?

Letting Go and Moving On – Several steps that will help you in your quest for absolution and freedom from this burden.

1. Seeking Forgiveness – whether your part in the incident was large or small, seeking forgiveness from anyone whom you may have hurt is vital for your spiritual well being and for being able to move on. Not seeking forgiveness, even from someone that you really don't like, will only hang over your head, and keep you from freeing yourself of the burden. While it probably wont be the most enjoyable experience, it is cathartic to humble oneself from time to time. View it as a rehearsal for the Day of Judgment. Forgiveness goes along with letting go. You wont be truly free of the experience until you have obtained that spiritual clemency.

2. Forgiving the other party – Be merciful. It is just as important to try to forgive the other person(s) involved. Withholding forgiveness will only keep you stuck in the past. Even if you really think that they don't deserve your forgiveness, do it anyway. Put yourself in their shoes. You would want forgiveness from them if you were the transgressor. Take that opportunity to show mercy! For those who show mercy to one another, Allah(swt) will show mercy to them as well, Insha Allah.

3. Look at this as just another learning experience. A chance to improve yourself. Insha Allah the next time you are in a similar situation, you will know how to handle it with ease.

4. And finally and most importantly, Seek Forgiveness from Allah(swt) for in Him your true respite lies. You will only be able to truly move on if you make Dua' to Allah and ask for mercy from Him. For only He can heal your wounds, and forgive your transgressions.

Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah. For Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful."- Qur'an, 39:53.

*This post was taken with permission from The Musing Muslima Blog. :)
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